Thursday April 10th, 2003
Dear Diary,
I've been learning a lot about Liberation recently. There is a show on TV that Master Eric & Mistress Wendy having been watching most of the time. It's about a nasty looking human with glasses who stands in front of a bunch of reporters and says strange things like, "The bombing of Baghdad you are seeing isn't really the bombing of Baghdad, it's only a part of the bombing of Baghdad" & "People who are free are free do break laws & commit crimes. That's what it is to be free." When ever he talks to the reporters, Master Eric yells at the TV & Mistress Wendy tells him to calm down & then they yell at each other. I don't understand why they keep watching it.
Anyway, a couple days ago on the show, all these people were running around where ever they wanted, stealing things from stores & hospitals & all these broken buildings & it looked like they were having a lot of fun! The mean looking man said that they were "Liberated!" They didn't have to do what they were told anymore, and they could take anything they wanted & it was a grand & wonderful thing because they were free!
Well, I got to thinking that I might like to be liberated too, so when Master Eric took me to the ravine today, I ran up a treacherous hill & he followed me & slipped in a mud puddle. When he was brushing himself off & swearing to himself (much like he swears at the mean looking man on the TV show) I took the opportunity to Liberate myself! I ran away free! (See above picture of me racing off to my freedom!)
Liberation! I was going to have cookies whenever I wanted them! No one would yell Heel at me when I wanted to chase Squirrels! No more dumping me in soapy water when I got muddy! No more sitting or staying! I was Liberated!! Just like the broken up country on the TV show! I even fancied that the mean little man on TV- Rumsfeld, I think they call him- might talk about me to the reporters! "Today Schubert the Dog liberated himself from Master Eric & Mistress Wendy's terrible Regime!" Boy, would Master Eric swear at the TV then! Haha!
Then about fifteen minutes passed & I realized something.
Liberation bites.
You can't eat cookies when you want, because there isn't anyone around to give you cookies & there's no one to cuddle with & no one to take care of my brother Whiler & play tug with me or chase with me or anything.
I listened very carefully but I couldn't hear master Eric calling for me! Then I started to cry. I don't mind admitting it. I'm not a little puppy anymore, but I felt the tears welling up inside my & I started whimpering like a whelp!
Ten more minutes passed but it seemed like forever!
Then! Oh! Joy! I heard Master Eric calling my name! As fast as I could, I raced to him! He held out his arms, forgiving me for my stupid Self-Liberation! I leapt up on him & licked him & yipped his praise!! We were back together again! I was his forever!
I would never leave his side! I would spend my every waking moment gazing up at his Glory! His was my Protector! My Defender! My Master! Liberty?! Blech! I was His! I would never leave him again! Never, never, never, never, never!!
Four three full minutes I stood by his side!
But then I saw a squirrel, so I ran off to chase it.